Day 283 – If I Had a Hammer


If I Had a Hammer

Day 283

Tools for life by Ivan Donn Carswell

Has life ever dumped you in a heap?
Perhaps you’ve found self belief so strongly
reinforcing that doubt never enters it,
nor divorces you from your own reality.

While I admire conviction I see it an
affliction of the blessed, sign of the righteously
possessed and indeed, a decent place to serve
a sentence for dereliction of self-doubt.

I argue without it I am a cautious man and
easy to live with, I resound like a drum,
resonate to sympathetic percussion,
inflating nothing, merely imitating sound.

I feed on my doubt, I feast into the long night
of feverish dreams, fitfully sleep from crisis
to crisis, I am fêted, riven, inspected,
and reformed in every second of oblivion.

I waken rehabilitated, consummate with
confidence I can face the day’s rigors and
pursue challenges in the same vigorous
way I did yesterday.

And I die in the dawn of each new consequence,
ashamed I have no plan but the rising sequences
of random words, at times inadequate, at others
inspiring, as my tools for life.

•••

I have not been myself of late.  Well, I have been me, but just haven’t felt like me.  Does that make any sense?  When I look out of my eyes colors don’t seem to have the same luster.  When I listen to my favorite music, I am not swaying to the music.  Chocolate isn’t even tasting as good.  Am I in the middle of a winter funk that will end with day light savings?  I sure hope so, because chocolate does NOT deserve this treatment!

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7 thoughts on “Day 283 – If I Had a Hammer

  1. Sounds like a bad case of the winter blues. 😦
    At the first sign of sunshine you have to go out and find some summer yellows, whites, pinks, oranges, reds ….

    • I have never had the winter blahs so this is a new one for me – but then this has been a strange winter. It is going to be in the high 60’s today so I am going to go outside during my lunch and just breathe.

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